Why am I dreading my 20 year high school reunion so much? I mean, it's the same people that I see on Facebook all the time. I think it's because I'm not the perfect size 6 or 7 that I once was. I actually have the figure of a 38 year old mother. Wait....I don't want the figure of a 38 year old mom.
Since December 1, I've gone to a diet doctor that would give me shots of a hormone called HCG twice a week. It was supposed to make the inches just melt off of my abdomin and hips. I lost 10 pounds by January 1st but have gained and lost the exact same 4 pounds every week since then. I started out eating a 1,200 calorie a day diet. I was going nowhere with the weight loss. Then I switched to Weight Watchers and have forgotten to log my food into the website for the past 2 weeks. I've walked on the treadmill and walked around the block. I've even tried jogging down the nature trail near our house.
Except a rash on my ring finger making it almost impossible to wear my wedding ring and my face breaking out like crazy from the hormones. Needless to say, I stopped taking that shot. It caused much misery.
I think the pressure to look good comes from the fact that I went to a relatively wealthy school district. I mean, I live in a small town now and the women I graduated with are actually having botox parties. I'm not sure I even know anyone that lives near me that gets Botox or even cares to get Botox. A lot of the boys friends have parents that are just glad to have jobs. One of the girls that will be at the reunion is going to Dallas to get her outfits for the reunion, so that no one will have her same outfits on. Are you kidding me???
I've wasted so much time wondering what to wear, how to do my hair, what would make me look the skinniest, what people will think of me, will they think I'm fat and ugly now? I know those are really silly things to worry about during the times we are going through in the world, but darnit, those are the thoughts I can't get out of my head. My high school best friend is a marathon runner who just completed the Boston Marathon and my other high school best friend has 5 kids and just told me that she's gained 20 pounds since high school. Ummmm.....I would do anything if 20 pounds was all I had to lose.
I guess I'm just going to be thankful that I've got beautiful children and an awesome husband. I'm going to be proud that I did something against the norm and chose to live in a small town where I feel safe and your neighbors know who you are and who you're related to - good or bad. And...I'm going to enjoy visiting with best friends that I haven't seen in 10 years. Ten years is too long to go without seeing someone you spent many, many memorable moments with during high school. Ok-now I'm talking myself into getting excited!