Friday, August 27, 2010

Feelings on Friday

1.  I'm so proud of myself because I had messed up my blog layout by posting a video from my Photobucket account and Photobucket erased it but left the stupid "image has been removed" box on my blog.  It was driving me nuts so I looked up how to get rid of it and inadvertently erased the background for my blog. ARRRRGHHH!  I finally fixed it and feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted off my shoulders.  Oh the trauma of trying to do your own blog.  I swear someday I'm gonna spend some money and have a talented person redo my blog!

2.  I interviewed for a Land Technician job at an oil and gas company in the big city this week.  I really like the lady interviewing me but the company was deathly quiet and everyone seemed so robot-like that it really scared me.  I met the owner and he was completely snotty.  I worked for a snot in the past and really don't care to in the future.  The salary is a good one but the commute would be close to 45 minutes.  My Jeep Cherokee is a paid-off 2004 and I worry about putting a ton of miles and wear and tear on it.  Plus, in all honesty, I don't want to leave my kids and work so far away.  I've stayed home with them this summer and can honesly say that I've missed them when they've been in school.  I like being here when they come in the door and being able to fix them a snack.  You should see their faces light up when they see Allie, our white boxer, and I waiting on the front porch for them to get home from the bus stop.  It's been one of my favorite moments from the past couple of months.

3.  After the interview and my intuition telling me that I really don't want a stressful, but good paying job, I called my insurance agent and randomly asked if they were hiring any help.  My agent said he was looking for someone to answer phones and take payments three days a week.  He asked me to email my resume to him and he's supposed to call me early next week.  His office is in the next little town and would only be 10 to 15 minutes away from home.  A much better commute and much better hours but much less pay.  I mean, much, much less pay.

4.  One of my reasons for not wanting to work full-time is I worry about my Mom getting to her doctor's appointments thirty minutes away in the big city.  I'm just not confident anymore about her mobility. I would rather be there to help her walk in and get around the huge office building where her doctor works.  I know she feels bad if I have to help her but it gives me peace of mind to help.  

5.  This whole job thing has me completely stressed out and starting to feel depressed.  On one hand, do I take the good job and just suck it up.  I'd be providing a good salary and contributing a lot to our household.  One the other hand, do I do what my heart says and stay here for my boys.  It doesn't help that I started out as a stay-at-home mom and when I got divorced I had to thrust the boys into daycare all day.  That guilt has never left.  When working, I was getting tired of always feeling like I was missing everything and worrying that I would get fired for asking to take off and attend school functions.  Being a non-working mom erases a ton of that guilt.   

6.  I've worked really hard to become debt-free and feel as if I'm in a good position right now in life. Lord knows I've had enough stress in the last ten years to last me forever.  First, my son was injured at birth and his right arm was paralyzed, resulting in years and years of physical therapy costs, then my divorce (you don't even want to know what that cost my parents and I), then my father/boss died unexpectedly in a car accident, leaving me with no job or income.  The resulting catastrophic downfall took me a long time to recover from in many ways.  Oh, and add to those factors, the surgery that a Dr. N in Houston, Texas wanted to do on my son's arm that was going to cost me $50,000 CASH.  This was after my Dad died.  I sold everything I could think of, house, huge playset in yard, furniture, and still couldn't come up with the money.  Extremely stressful.  Oh, think of this when you hear of the Shriner's Hospitals-they treated my son for free!!!

7.  I love the Shriner's!

8.  I recently read on the internet that the same doctor who caused me to sell many, many belongings to come up with money for a surgery on my son has recently been investigated by the Texas Medical Board for overcharging for surgeries and performing surgeries on children that didn't need it.  HA! Karma does really and truly suck, huh?

9.  I cleaned the entire house today and my depressed feeling is slowly lifting.  I think the depressed feeling is what's causing this rambling post also.

10.  Starting school is extremely expensive!  I'm not sure I like the costly effects of August!

11.  A Lutheran church started meeting here in our little town and the people starting it are actually my cousins.  Cousins we don't really ever talk to but cousins, none the less.  I think that's a sign that we should start attending, since we are Lutheran.  My kids, however, want to go to a church here in little town thats Southern Baptist and has a band that plays during the service.  Apparently, they have Wii's for the kids to play and it's a really modern type church.  I, however, am very traditional and love the ritual of the old fashioned churches.  I might have to just go with the flow and take the kids to the modern church.  Anything for the kids, right?

12.  I just found out that our next door neighbor girl got caught kissing a boy on the playground last year.  That would have been in the 5th GRADE, yes, 5th. 
She...will...not...be...hanging...out...with...my...boys.

13.  My husband has been awesome during all of this having to quit my job because their crooks thing.  He told me no matter what I decide to do,
we...will...be...fine.  I really love and adore that guy!

14.  Most people arrive on this blog by searching for Ree Drummond - Drummond Family Ranch.  I do live right her ya know and grew up with Matteo!  That cracks me up!


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